IT WILL BE ALRIGHT

The Journey to Zaf’s Place

About Zaf, my Masjid-mate, Galaxy-mate and Iqra’-mate,
A beloved daughter and a dear friend to many.  

Sisterbears & Brotherbears IQRAC Gen 15 . Walaupun orang kata gambar ni senget, nak letak jugak.

The day I read the Whatsapp message,
 I was overwhelmed with confusion, disbelief,
“Zaf’s gone? For real?”
Tears became little streams on my face,
Head pounding because of all the crying,
Chest felt heavy, stuffed,
I was grief-stricken.

I silently vowed to visit her no matter what,
Severely devastated because I couldn’t be in the whole process,
Mandi, kafan, solat jenazah and the burial,
I was stuck in PJ with some other responsibilities,
But image of her haunted me everywhere.

All the things I did reminded me of her,
Looking at the Quran also made her face clear in my eyes,
Because we were Masjid-Mates back then,
Zaf with her purple Quran and water bottle. 

When I see her picture from Galaxy magazine,
“Ironic is it, Zaf?
The magazine that we worked on together in DQ,
Became the reference to your address,
To those who wanted to attend your burial.” 

Surprisingly, my parents gave me the most valuable gift
A trip to Johor; to Nusajaya to be exact,
Although they just arrived in PJ from Marang.
After Subuh, we headed to Johor,
With a clearer mind, a contented heart,
“I’m coming, Zaf.”

Her house was fluorescent green,
And Pika, her younger sister, stood by the gate,
It was the first time I met her,
She is sick too, long before Zaf,
But Zaf went first unexpectedly.

Zaf used to take care of Pika,
But recently , Pika’s the one who took care of her.

Her mother was talking calmly, cheerfully
Under her black purdah,
I could sense her smiling as she talked,
Luckily, I got quite exclusive personal attention from her mother,
As all other guests did not know Zaf personally,
They were her Dad’s work colleagues.

Her mom told about her,
At around 12 noon, she wanted to call her friends,
But she was not strong enough,
Then, she wanted to go to the bathroom,
To wash up and take wudu’, assisted by her sister,
And suddenly, she got weak and slid from her sister’s hands. 

Her sister called her mom,
At that time, she could still talk a little bit,
Then, her mother took her to the bathroom again,
To wash up and clean her,
But when she sat, suddenly, she got unconscious,
She was sitting on a chair in the bathroom,
And her head tilted sideways.

Her mom tried to calm herself,
“Angah pengsan je kot.”
And finished cleaning her up,
However, it is true,
She had gone forever,
Leaving all the worldly pains and joys behind her.

Her mom was a strong believer,
When most of her friends cried when visiting their home,
She was the one who consoled Zaf’s friends.
“Kita percaya yang anak itu pinjaman Allah,
Tapi rindu tu, memang rindu sangat.”
She was saying it happily,
But I could sense her lump in the throat at the end of her words.

As a mom, Zaf’s mom was happy,
Seeing her child go with ease,
No painful “nazak” moments ,
And receiving so many visitors,
Her SMAKJ schoolmates, Sis and Brobears,
Diploma DQ friends, her CFS English lecturer,
and more.

As we were about to leave,
“Jaga hafalan,”she said,
The most important advice ever,
That was her words for all Sisterbears who came.

Then, we went to her grave,
By the signboard of Masjid Pulai,
With the help of her charismatic 10 year old brother, Akeem.
Masya Allah, Allahuakbar,
Finally, we’re here.

Her grave is on the edge,
The soil was still red and moist,
Two wooden stick with carvings stood there,
As a sign where our beloved Zaf lies. 

“I’m finally here Zaf,
I can only try to visualize
How it was like that night,
When you finally descend here,
But being able to see your new home is good enough,
You’ll be alright, Zaf,
And I will too.”

On the journey back,
With red soil still stuck beneath my shoes,
I was happy,
Because I believe,
Only our physical bodies parted,
But our hearts and souls haven’t. 

Her soul is still very much alive,
She only moved to the next stage of life,
Alam barzakh,
And we’ll be there too.

She had finished her journey in this dunya,
With a blissful end,
On the most blessed day, Jumu’ah,
With ease and a calming smile on her face.

She had shown one of the ways,
To achieve husnul khatimah,
And inspiring people to do good,
Even after she’s gone.

For those of you who are still crying in grief,
Whose heart still aching with pain,
Get up and cheer up!
Zaf had finished the race first!
Why are you still crawling slowly behind?

Remember Allah’s words,
“Fastabiqul khairat!”
Don’t be sad too long,
Start doing good now and with high spirits!

Zaf wants to meet all of us in Jannah,
So stop wasting time and start doing something!
Because actions speak louder than words. 

“We’ll be with you Zaf insyaAllah! We will.”

*For those of you who didn’t know yet, on 4 May 2016, Zafirah Haziqah Mohamad was admitted to Universiti Malaya Medical Centre (PPUM). She missed two examination papers on the following day. Doctor said she was lack of water and lack of blood. But in the report afterwards, doctor said that she suffered from an infection (jangkitan kuman).  This was what I heard from her mom. (Please correct me if I’m wrong)

May Allah bless Zaf and forgive her sins, and give strength to her family and friends to go on with life with a stronger Iman. Wallahualam.