Day 1 without Tokbah

                Last night, I slept at Maktok’s room to accompany her on her first night without Tokbah by her side. As usual, Maktok is always cool and composed. 

“How was your sleep last night?”
“Alhamdulillah, I can sleep well.”

This morning, after Subuh and the morning routines, I started to work on my assignment. Actually, I had totally forgotten about the work which is due on the upcoming Monday. Hmm. Besides, the days before were busy, exhausting days too as I needed to replace my mother temporarily at home. Tough ay being a mom? I’m not up to it yet, even being single and child-less has a lot of responsibilities already maa.  

Around 9 am, my little sister, Qis had already started pestering me to play with her. “What do you wanna play, kid?” “I don’t know.” “You wanna play but you don’t what to play ah? Aiya budak ni.” “Okay, you wanna draw or paint or skipping or..?” In the end, I brought her to sit outside to get some fresh air. Initially, I wanted to skip with her but the skipping rope was missing from its place. 

“Akak I cannot believe that Tokbah is gone, I feel like Tokbah is still here,” said Wawa. “Maybe because you hadn’t seen Tokbah during the whole process. Besides, Tokbah was always not home these last few weeks as he was in the hospital ward.” I continued to eat the Mamee Biskidz while staring ahead, emptily into the sky. 

To be honest, his photos were everywhere; above my door’s wooden frame, at his previous study table and in the living room. How could we forget him? He was a part of our life.