Holiday Thoughts 3: Caring for Tok

Bismillah. 

One day, I was attending a small family feast as one of my relatives will be going abroad. So, it was time for my aunts to meet up and have a good ladies chat. I always like to listen to adults’ conversations, *not explicit stuff-.-*  as they tend to talk about bigger and more important issues in life than petty things that us teens usually talk about. So these aunts updated each other about their lives.

One of the aunts’ life story is worth to be shared here. Let’s just call her Cik Hana (not her real name). She is now caring for her old mother full time at her house, although she herself got a very busy career being a lecturer. Her mother suffered from dementia; a disease closely related to Alzheimer’s, but I won’t explain it here.

Basically, it means she forgot a lot of things, even her own children.  Later afterwards, she started remembering things in the past and it was as if she was living in that past; imagining that her deceased husband and father were still alive etc. She also can’t differ between day and night; so there must be someone accompanying her 24/7 to avoid unwanted incidents. Besides that, of course, she acts more like a baby each coming day; always wanted to go on trips, gets very sensitive and always sulk (but it depends too on the character of the person). 

The children of Cik Hana took turns in taking care of their grandmother; bathe her, take turns to sleep with her each night, accompany her when she wants to chat and more.

     

 Cik Hana told me,” Cik Hana selalu pesan kat anak-anak Cik Hana. Toksah cari pahala jauh-jauh, dah ada depan mata. Dorang orang tua kita jugak.”

Yeah, what a noble work to care for the parents of our parents! The ones who brought up our parents back then. Taking care of old people is not an easy task as it requires one to sacrifice his/her time, energy, money and sometimes dreams. The sacrifice of being a caregiver to old people should not be underestimated. 

Let’s be positive. Consider this task as a training ground; for us to be more loving, caring and to slow down. I admit, being a teenager/young adult, we have these fiery spirits to do new things, to explore more and more. But maybe for some, their fighting ground are not by being out and doing outside charity works for the larger community, but they struggle within their own homes. 

Stay positive, patient and sweet!